Blooming in the dark

Thrown into the most exhausting and painful time of my life – I’d just had a baby – my third child, our business had gone bust, we had sold our house and had to move, a family member had been diagnosed with cancer – all within weeks of each other. It was all too much. I felt spun around and unsure of which way was up, let alone the next step to take.

I felt like a tortoise, upside down on her shell, wiggling her legs in the air, trying to turn over, but the shell just sliding around on the floor. Eventually, all I wanted to do was hide in that shell and not face pain and disappointment ever again.

It was a struggle to do anything, even the former things that I loved to do. I had worked as a designer and loved to be creative with design and layout, and in making a home for my little family. It had all been taken from me and I had no resources, no outlet, no inclination or energy to be creative at all.

As I travelled the path of depression and learning about my mental health, re-discovering creativity was an essential part of healing. Learning how to restart my creativity against the odds, learning how to rest and finding out what brought me joy. Silencing my inner critic’s voice, creating from a place of vulnerability, and chasing down truth and beauty.

I had to learn to come alive again.

Creative practice helped me to move through disappointments, it helped me focus on the things that mattered, it helped me find meaning in life and feel valued again. Not valued for what I could do, but in knowing the presence of God and him moving me alive.

Creative is the essence of who we all are. Every action you take is a creative act. When we who were made in God’s own image, move into our identity, foremost we are creators. Overwhelmed with life, it is possible to forget who we are. We can lose our voice and courage and as Brene Brown says:

“Unused creativity is not benign, it metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgement, sorrow, shame”

Our unused creativity eventually destroys us. Feeling dis-empowered by life threatens to take away our identity. We can believe the lies that we don’t have anything to offer, we can’t move forward. I had to make a tiny first small step to be creative again and in doing so I discovered more of what I loved to do and what made me feel more like me. The me I was created to be. It’s not always been easy, but I have found ways to keep going.

I have come up with small ways that keep me exercising my creativity and help keep me flourishing. This is good for my soul, it is life-giving. When life is full of boring tasks or lists of chores, then I know I can take just 10 minutes a day to do one thing that will connect me to my creative essence. Maybe these will help you too:

3 tips to start creativity when overwhelmed

1. Carry pen and paper for notes, thoughts, doodles, lettering and more.

2. Make a practice of doing one thing a day even if you only have 10 minutes.

3. Remember that every act is a creative movement and you are creative.

 

 

Abi Partridge is a designer and writer living with her husband and three children in Oxfordshire, on the edge of the beautiful Cotswolds in the UK. She is passionate about good coffee, encouraging others in creativity for wellbeing, and the soulful pursuit of beauty in nature. She has self-published three books and publishes iola magazine on a mac and a prayer.

She writes at abipartridge.com and posts on instagram @abipartridge.

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